Just when things started to get interesting in the presidential primary, news has broken which simplifies things considerably. First, Mitt Romney has decided to "suspend" his candidacy after the dismal Super Tuesday showing. Based on the differing state laws, many of his delegates will now go to John McCain, solidfying a nearly insurmountable lead on Mike Huckabee in the GOP primary. The so-called conservative block will now not be split between Huckabee and Romney, so expect Huckabee to gain some ground in future primaries. It will not be enough to derail McCain, especially with all the delegates he will inherit from Romney. So the GOP goes to McCain.
All that doesn't even matter though, as we have late breaking news from an undisclosed location between Columbus and Belpre, Ohio. At 5:02 EST, Aaron Applebaum, famed editor of the Ohio State Journal on Criminal Law, has formally announced his endorsement of Barack Obama for the presidential race. With $7.2 million dollars raised in the 48 hours following Super Tuesday and this blockbuster endorsement (as well as Hillary running out of money), Obama will be the first black, oops I mean African American president in US history in 2008.
When asked why he endorsed Obama, Applebaum was kind enough to elaborate: "Well I was kind of leaning toward McCain as a centrist candidate, but then I went to his website looking for his stance on the issue I care most about, that being education. In the list of Issues on the McCain homepage, there are 13 separate listed issues but education is nowhere to be found. This troubled me too much to ever think about endorsing Mr. McCain. Huckabee is a religious right psycho, Ron Paul's supporters scare me, and as for Clinton...well if Bill were running then OK but this country is not quite ready for her to be the first woman president, as my good buddy Oprah Winfrey says."
There you have it: the most important endorsement of the campaign trail has come in, and Obama should certainly expect another jump in fundraising following this monumental achievement.
Stay tuned tomorrow as we cover: Indiana Hoosiers, fraud or contender; and we have an insider scoop on where Bob Knight is going next (heads up Kelvin Sampson, better get the resume going). Until then, this has been breaking news brought to you by ANN, the Apple-Bottom News Network.
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5 comments:
you're a dork....
just thought I'd mention that.
~me~
This is at least the third website that I've viewed referring to Aaron Applebaum endorsing Obama. None of the websites had a national readership, but some are pretty widely read in various circles. I don't know who Mr. Applebaum is, but really, is this all some kind of a joke or what?
Anonymous #2: Aaron's endorsement holds great weight for bankrupcy law clerks of reformed Jewish descent in the Philadelphia area that remain loyal Pittsburgh Steelers fans.
Soapbox Moment of the Day: Regarding the passive-agressive swipe at "political" correctness, it's worth pointing out that black and african american are both correct to use. Don't pull a "Rush" and overstate any beef with so-called "political" correctness. Some things really are just correct or incorrect. All it takes is listening and respect.
Time Till Next Post: My bet would be a month or more.
Who Wrote this Post: Hmmmmm.
I'd just like to thank Dave for posting on here regarding my official endorsement of Senator Obama. I'll be preparing a full statement for the press at a later date. However, as we've just gotten word out of Virginia that Obama has won in the land of Jefferson, ANN is ready to project that, with less than 1% of the vote counted, the endorsement of Aaron Applebaum apparently played a large role in swinging Virginia for Obama... especially with independents and former Republicans who are fed up with the status quo.
From The Wall Stree Journal:
New York, NY: (February 14, 2008)Market analysts are reporting that the value of Applebaum News Network (ANN), stock symbol "ASS," is set to decline dramatically. ANN-ASS is suffering from a serious dispute among its sharholders, lead by two rather different groups.
The first group, lead by EGO, wants ANN-ASS to find more ways to promote and build its ceremonial head, Aaron "The Baum" Applebottom. EGO seems to believe that ANN-ASS is always better with a larger and more geographically prominent head. EGO states that his plan will guarantee that "ANN-ASS is always made in Mr. Applebottom's image."
The second group, in stark contrast, disagrees with EGO, stating that it's already clear to everyone that "Mr. Applebottom is ANN-ASS," and that any further promotion of the ceremonial head will make the company top heavy, leaving ANN-ASS in a vulnerable position.
EGO concedes that Mr. Applebottom is the most familiar face and embodiment of ANN-ASS, but always want to go further.
Market anaylysis, in spite of their short-term prediction, believe once ANN-ASS resolves this problem, it can get back to doing business.
WSJ
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