The Week...Etc.

So I had no idea how good last week was. I had some early week work (it gets piled onto monday and tuesday this quarter it seems) and then actually got to go to Athens Thursday night to spend time with Kelley. It was a blast and we saw In Good Company this weekend. It is actually a good movie, for people with the same sense of humor as me. Which most of you fit that quality, but whatever. I'm not going to spend too much time on here tonight but I might have a long entry because I've got some serious bitching to do. Anyways, the rest of the weekend was ok. I did very poorly at the magic tournament, going 2-3 in the pro tour qualifier and 2-2 in a side event. Tom played the same deck card for card (which I did well with last year in this format and I was the only person on our team to do well) as I did, and he went 6-1-2, losing in the semifinals barely. Had he won that macth he would have own the whole event I am pretty sure, and I would have to watch as he got the pro tour again. As it is I am just disgusted about the fact that he always seems to be more lucky in pro tour qualifiers. We play against the same people, we both play flawlessly...and I lose because of luck. Guess that's the game and I'm not really that pissed in retrospect. Just irritated as usual, same as always when I'm doing horrible at my hobby. The boys are going to Boston this upcoming weekend. I wish I could, but I bought my laptop so I have no money (personal choice and I LOVE my new laptop so it makes up for it lol) and I cannot go anyways due to school obligations on next Monday. Oh well the way my luck is going I'd probably suck there anyways. And I will go home to spend time with Kelley this weekend for sure...I just hope I do not have to go right back up after church since I want to watch the super bowl with my mom and my fiancee before I come back up. We have our senior design midterm oral and written reports due the next day so that's why I might have to come back. I feel so guilty about never doing enough work on that over weekends so far, but that's the only time I live since school sucks up most of my life here. The only things keeping me sane here are the occassional Xbox game, my Chi Alpha guys, and Magic on the weekends. If it were not for Kelley I do not know how I would stay motivated. Anyways, I did not do well at the tournament. Today I woke up late around 11 and basically did no good work until 5. 6 hours wasted...I mean 1.5 of it was a little cleaning up and eating and another 2 was spent on the xbox...but I still wasted time today. Guess that's life. I started working on my NE 735 hw tonight and only got about half of it done in 5 hours. I hope the rest of it goes quicker. On the bright side I am learning a fair amount about the material, but it seems like a lot of bullshit to get us there. That is due Tuesday at 7:30 AM. I will have 4 days a week of 7:30 AM every week for the rest of the quarter, and staying up late like tonight will kill me. I'll learn or I'll cope. I just cannot get my body to relax and go to sleep earlier some nights. So back to the complaining. I watched Eyes Wide Shut (effed up like all good Kubrick movies) with the guys while doing some hw on the laptop for the rest of the evening.
What I have to do this week is the following. I have to get NE 735 HW done by Tuesday morning and I already explained how much that sucks. I also have to update and revise an entire presentation on electrical systems of nuclear power plants for the same class by Tuesday morning since I am presenting that material to the class on Thursday. I still have no clue what I am talking about in that area and I haven't even started to update the slides. Tomorrow will be interesting just with that. But to top it off, our third teammate on the senior design project will have undoubtedly spent a lot of time over the weekend on the project which will make me feel like a slacker for doing nothing (Berens did not do anything either). I also have to pick up CAI problems to grade (money money money...thank god I get paid for something) god knows when this week. I will also have a one-on-one with Ken and this will suck because he cannot come to small group bible study on Wednesday. Which means I will have to lead it by myself for the first time. I am not ready for this, and so did not want it to happen on this week. I also have a length ME 571 HW and lab report due Wednesday. Funny how I really only have 2 classes worth of work (senior design is pretty independant as you can tell by our group's slacking and my other nuclear class has had 1 hw assignment and nothing else all quarter so far), but yet I find a way to screw myself being busy. This week if I survive through the presentation worth 30 PERCENT OF MY DAMN GRADE in NE 735 on electrical systems AT 7:30 IN THE MORNING on thursday, it will be time to catch up on the grading I will ubdoubtedly neglect over the week and try to get some of next week's work done before I go home for the weekend or else....I'll be back up here to watch the super bowl by myself.
Another bitch...when I was doing work tonight Tom called me and I was pretty short as I was working. The same thing happened when Kelley called...but more because Shep and Akil called during that phone call so I was balancing two calls at once and doing HW at the same time for whatever reason. I ended up being short with everyone I think. Why do I distance myself from society and the ones I love when I do work? I can be such an asshole. I guess I'll just try to do better but I realized I was such a jerk after hanging up with Kelley. And she was the only person I did not really get snappy with! She was the bright point of my day when she called me, and all I can do is be pissy. Her stepfather is being a real a-hole to her right now...she does not need that. I wish her family were less dysfunctional, as they make my family look somewhat normal (ha maybe not). While I'm on complaining about others, why the hell does my nuclear professor assign so much busy work over a weekend? Why does my dad completely ignore my emails about him helpng me pay for law school applications? Why did my old boss not at least give me a call back to tell me whether he wrote a letter or recommendation for me or not? Why can't the same company send me a W-2 for the second straight year? Why is my roommate borrowing money to pay the rent again? Why why why why why....
On another note, while I'm feeling depressed I'd like to take the time to mention how guilty I've been feeling about being overweight. My Mom is losing weight successfully, Kelley is on drugs which will help her...and I am just being a lardass. And it's because I'm lazy and do schoolwork all the time. When I'm not doing schoolwork I'm not out jogging, especially this time of year. I probably overeat...or if I do not then I eat on an unbalanced schedule which probably is not good. I'm 250-255 pounds...and I almost still look normal. I cannot suck it in like I could 30 pounds ago (a year and a half ago). I do not really have a huge belly, but my thighs and butt are so large that my size 38 jeans sometimes feel so tight. Sometimes they feel loose, but I should be wearing 36's or 34's easily. I have motivation...it's right in front of me. And I want to be the best looking guy for Kelley because she deserves someone much better than me, at least in appearance. Self-worth issues I know I know. I just cannot shake the feeling.
I've been stuffy in the nose all week and it's getting worse. Not a cold but just messed up stffiness and blah because of it all day. I'm so sick of it. Screw this Ohio weather.
Then tonight Kelley gave me a snippet of her latest private OD entry. BAsically said her fears about me finding some chic at law school and leaving her. How her life would be over and she would have to start from scratch. I made a committment...a lifelong committment to her. I'm not one to break promises like that, and anyone who knows me knows this is true. I will never cheat on her because if I do then I deserve a ruined life for giving up the best thing that has ever happened to me. I'm in a true loving relationship. We are far from perfect, we fight, we have our problems...but we communicate and we survive this long distance well. That made me beleve I want to be in the foxhole with this woman for the rest of my life, and I can only hope to give her what she deserves in a man. I have no diea where I will be for the next three years, but I know we will make it. I will not leave true love for probable failure at the hands of some lawyer girl. I just hope she understands that while she was into me way deeper than I was into her sophomore year before we got back together...I am just as invested now as she is in me. If something happened to her I would be devastated. She is one of the only reasons I have motivation every day to finish work and be a good Christian man. And I hope she understands this and takes hope in it for the future. I love my princess, and I will spend the rest of my life with her no matter what happens.
I don't think I have much else to complain about. I mean life is so good at college, but I yearn for a day where I can spend time with Kelley every day and not worry about homework catching up to me and killing me all week. And I only have 2 heavy workload classes! I feel like I'm such a lazy-butt. If I make it out of this week I'll be ok. I just need to calm down and go to sleep. Getting this off my chest has helped...any comments appreciated although I do not know if anyone could make it through all this bitching. I thank you if you did. Have a good week.